I Miss Fafblog, Spot

NEW! Improved! GOP Now even Softer on Terror

2011-01-09T23:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, Spot, the Republicans are totally soft on terror. I know it's a little confusing. These are the same people who go around stomping their feet and shouting about how the government should be tougher on terrorism. They sound so tough, so John Wayne-ly, but it's really just the sound of their own disorganized thinking and paranoia. If you ignore the noise and watch what what they actually do

Journalism: Old School

2010-12-19T22:15:00.000-08:00

As you say, Spot, people usually do their best when they know that somebody important is probably watching. So maybe, like you said, the cleansing sunlight of Truth is necessary to burn out the pockets of evil eating into our System like gangrene. Or maybe it's just that people up-to-no-gooding don't wanna be caught, and like most all vermin problems, you can limit the damage by depriving them of

No, Virginia, The Rich Do Not Steal From The Poor

2010-12-08T23:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Spot, My friend says that the rich steal from the poor. My Daddy says, "It's only 'stealing' if it's illegal and that the rich can afford their own laws." Then Mommy says, "Do NOT let Daddy talk politics!" I am confused. Can you help? sincerelyVirginiaDear Virginia, Many questions in politics and economics are very complicated and require long complicated answers. Fortunately, yours is

The "Qu" cube counts as two letters

2010-07-05T09:32:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm done teaching my summer course, some days I find myself at loose ends. I'm at home this week with Lady C., our hound, and we spend our days reading and playing Boggle™. The problem is, of course, she has trouble using words of more than one syllable, let alone spelling them. So it gets boring, and when things get boring the conversation inevitably turns to politics. Even my hound is

Gambling

2010-06-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

While things seem to be otherwise moribund around here, I just thought I'd share a detail of an image taken by the Moderate Resolution Imaging Spectroradiometer on NASA’s Terra satellite. For some reason when I come across these images they stop me cold. If there were an attack on the country in which we live we would be inundated with images about it constantly. And yet,

Humane Society Threatens Homeland

2010-04-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

At first, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw US Rep. King's press release: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASECONTACT: Matt LahrApril 7, 2010 Office: 202.225.4426 King Informs 4-H Leaders of Real Agenda of Humane Society SIOUX CITY - Congressman Steve King (R-IA) today released a statement objecting to the presence of the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) at a recent National 4-H Conference.

A Tiny Suggestion, Mr Zealot

2010-03-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

Let's say that you've just put up a big fight over some issue, and you still got your butt kicked. Perhaps it would be better if you didn't call it an Apocalypse. Unless, of course, you really truly mean to claim that your side is the force of Ultimate Evil and that it was just defeated by the forces of Ultimate Good.P.S. I only mention this for your own good. I know you have been very worried

RE: Whiny Tin Fascists = WTF ?

2010-03-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

Well, Spot, you are correct again. But consider this, being without health insurance does strongly correlate with being without health care. I suppose you are right about what you call the DC Tautology - ie solving the the problem of uninsured Americans by passing a law saying that all Americans have to buy insurance. But I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea. In the first place; prisoners

Memoirs of a Part-time Zombie

2010-03-01T08:19:00.000-08:00

Our ranks spread across the room. We are all facing the same direction, some are a little more coordinated than others and some are dripping a little body fluid. Technically this is the cardio room at Clyde's Gym of Resolve and we are all here proving that Americans are not afraid of hard sweaty work. At least not as long as it take place in a climate controlled room and there is parking space

The Illusion that wasn't there.

2010-01-21T11:49:00.000-08:00

Or: How the battle was lost when they first began working on Health Insurance Reform instead of Healthcare Reform.

Cash-for-obstruction

2009-12-15T10:16:00.000-08:00

Cappy Rudyard:$5,900,388Is the amount Common Cause reports Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman received in health industry campaign contributions from 2000-2008. $77,000A year is how much his wife Hadassah received from a lobbying firm to consult on health care in just one year during that period. Prior to this, she also ran PR for drug companies like Hoffman-LaRoche and Pfizer, according to Salon.

Making the “Bill of Rights” Cost Efficient

2009-11-29T12:22:00.000-08:00

By Free Market Squirrel We on the right know that the market is the most efficient way to deliver Health Care.1 Sure, people don’t deserve to die because they don’t have enough money to be cured – we acknowledged that when we complained about “death panels.” The only reason they do now is because of market distortions.By this logic, the market should

Lessons to be Drawn from the Fort Hood Massacre

2009-11-21T13:15:00.000-08:00

… of 1991• “Remember Fort Hood” says the Colorado billboard implying President Obama is a dangerous Muslim."Since Fort Hood, I've had it," owner Phil West told FOX 31 News Friday. "You can't suggest things. You can't profile. You gotta call a spade a spade.""Everything I have read about Mr. Obama points right to the fact that he is a Muslim. And that is the agenda of what Muslim is all about.

Blackwater Massacre Legal Services

2009-11-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

Thinking of committing an atrocity? Frustrated at your former boss/girlfriend/lifecoach, are you going to bust into their workplace/daycare/muffler store and murder everyone indiscriminately? But you’re worried about the hard time and humiliation that is sure to follow? At Blackwater Massacre Legal Services (BMLS) we’re here to help. Once we, too, were in your position. Our guys had just

I Hate Mr. Popular

2009-10-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

Dear MSM,I am sooooooooooo tired of BHO being Mr. Popular Guy! My daddy RBC taught me that being true to yourself means never giving an inch, and that nothing is worth having if someone else gives it up voluntarily. So I know BHO is doing something wrong if people like him so much and give him free stuff.If people give you something, it can only be because they think you’re a patsy. Sure, not

Bush Cheney GOP named in class action suit

2009-09-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

A law firm acting on on behalf of the citizens of the United States filed suit earlier today seeking to recover nearly 10 trillion dollars that was lost during a single presidential administration. The suit cites criminal negligence, gross incompetence, and "acts deliberately contrary to the oath of office," among other things and includes a 937 page list of specific events ranging from the 1999

And a Very Merry Ethiopian New Year to You, to You

2009-09-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

It's September 11 again, and you know what that means. That's right - it's the Ethiopian New Year bringing in the year 2002. It's a day of hope and joy because, in the alternate reality of the Ethiopian Calendar; there is still time to shut off the TV, pry our butts out of the LaZBoy, and stop all the invading, torturing and illegal wiretapping. Not to mention using Borrow 'n' Squander as

You say 'Potahto', and I say, 'Public Option'

2009-08-20T23:26:00.001-07:00

Dear Spot,You know how I told you that we'd be able to get you that hip replacement just as soon as the Preznit got this health care mess all sorted out?Well, maybe not... on account of I'm reading in the Blogtubes that the Preznit is about to sell us out and let the Republicans kill the public option in exchange for 0 votes. I know, it's a pretty steep bargain there, but hopefully all those

Sky Eye on the White Peril

2009-08-04T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well, Spot, the magnitude of the real terrorist threat has finally been revealed. Turns out it was the Great White Peril all along. Seems the sea ice has just been pretending to be all innocent and inanimate. It all makes sense now. I guess the Titanic was sank by an anarchist suicide ice berg, an unacknowledged victim of Ice Terror. And those semiliterate sons a the south with their Iced Tea.

Horizontally Mobility Only

2009-07-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

Horizontally Mobility Of course there is little social mobility in a classless society like the United States. If there are no class differences then, by definition, it is not possible to move to a different class. In the United States, there do exist large differences in personal wealth and opportunity but these are based entirely on personal worthiness rather than social class. The point is

Monopoly for the New Millennium

2009-07-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I played Monopoly. But, AIR, it was kind of old fashioned. Maybe we could update to Monopoly for the New Millennium™ with some new rules.#1. Any player who accumulates some arbitrarily large amount of assets becomes "Too Big to Fail" (TBF). Players belonging to the TBF Club would still use their own funds for voluntary investments, but the bank would assume any risks

Pretty Shiny Pennies: Harder Faster Edition

2009-07-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

Ooooh! Twinkaleey!!! Whooosh..tik.tik.tik.ita.tik.tik.tak.ata.click heyhowfastcanUadd-hey-lookee over there thatn's faster.. It's like a freee slot machine wi'than invisible crank. Sure, I sed Crank-heeheehee, I sed Crank It Up BABY go Whooosh..tik.tik.tik.ita.tak.tik.ata.click Hah!! Tweak them Engines a Wall, Street, Pro-form-man cranker yankin foolz. Uhuh! Anybody can play - it dont cost

The Public Option: Current Edition

2009-07-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

There is nothing you can do that can't be done!

Clarifying a Matter of some grievous Confusion

2009-06-29T05:36:00.000-07:00

I do not need Health Insurance. Excepting, that Health Insurance is a source of Comfort and Wealth to the Masters of said Enterprise and a Source of devious subsistence to the divers toilers in its Cause, no Person of this Earth needs Health Insurance. I need Medical Care. Had I funds sufficient to Indulge in Health Insurance, I would have Funds sufficient for obtaining Medicines and Medical

RIGHT WING TERRORISM

2009-06-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

An April Department of Homeland Security report warned that "a prolonged economic downturn—including real estate foreclosures, unemployment, and an inability to obtain credit. . . present unique drivers for rightwing radicalization and recruitment." Of course, the right wing, complicit in disinforming us about the true nature of the threat, cried foul. James Dobson, on Sean

Polka Madness!

2009-05-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

"He's lovely, but not half as lovely as Ludmila of Bohemia."ETHNIC PERIL TO OUR HIGHEST COURTA special Friday minisermon by Rev. CavendishFriends:Our Constitution is in peril. So much so that Newt Gingrich has written: We need YOUR help to take this fight to Capitol Hill. Please consider supporting Renewing American Leadership with a generous donation today. $25, $50, or $100 will dramatically

H1N1

2009-05-02T22:04:00.000-07:00

Al Quaida Flu Blues

2009-05-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

don't want the Mexican Flusure don't got any Mexican Flu'Cause whenever you say the word MEXICANsomebody's mad at youcan't have no flu that's Swinejust can't say that flu is Swine'cause if people think you get Swine Flu from pigsthen pork they stop buyin'got no use for H1N1mighty lame name H1N1'cause clearly announciating four distinct syllables in one namejust ain't Americanpronouncin' H1N1 as

A Small Misunderstanding

2009-04-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

The U S and A witnessed a great eruption of democracy recently, as protesters wielding bags of tea gathered together in groups large and small across this great nation, unified by their shared principles... bound together by their shared susceptibility to propaganda... marching along smartly behind a madly piping Joe the Plumber, blowing his drainpipe bassoon of doom. Yes, we all saw it on our

When there's no Rule of Law then Authority will Rule

2009-04-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

When they came for the dopersI remained silent - Because I’m not a junkie or a dirty hippyWhen they went after the crack dealersI approved – because I’m afraid of saggy pantsed gang bangersWhen they renditioned Abu the goatherdI paid the bill – because those ragheads just might be dangerousWhen they rounded up the illegal aliensI cheered – because I have blue eyes, I’m obviously AmericanWhen

I would be mourning you... if you had spoken English

2009-04-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

Rising Hegemon points out a post titled: “Hmmm . . . At Immigration Center Site of Rampage, Aliens Taking Citizenship Test Didn’t Speak English”. In this callous screed, frequent New York Post columnist Debbie Schlussel has a Malkinesque moment:But there’s an interesting piece of info that’s come out in the reporting and it may point to immigration fraud at the center. . . Too many people who

ISO Universal Truth to Live By

2009-03-31T19:32:00.000-07:00

"Pleasure and pain, happiness and misery, constitute the whole ultimate subject of moral enquiry. There is nothing desirable but the obtaining of the one and the avoiding of the other. All the researches of human imagination cannot add a single article to this summary of good."The criterion of virtue is "the production of the greatest general good, the greatest public sum of pleasurable

Big Trouble in Little Foppingadreef

2009-03-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

"Sir, there is a problem in the Foppingadreef division.""Foppingadreef? What's that?""Uhh... let's just say it's... offshore.""Hmm. OK. So what's the problem?""Well, sir, it seems the Foppingadreef folks paid some taxes... offshore.""That's not a problem, is it? I'm sure it was a heck of a lot cheaper than paying taxes here!""Well, yeah, that's how it's supposed to work. But what happened

MAN ON THE STREET

2009-03-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

Not to be outdone by Waveland on a big news day like today, we at ILP,S! took to the streets to get our finger on the pulse of public opinion. The results follow.Tell me sir, what do you make of Bernard Madoff pleading guilty today to orchestrating a $65 billion Ponzi scheme?"So what? They should leave that poor man alone. He was only trying to get his."Really? What an unconventional answer!

Time to study up...

2009-03-04T20:59:00.000-08:00

Makes you wonder... what's our generation made of?Edit: Now with extra Cratchitism!

Ahhh... The sweet belly-laugh of Bipartisanship

2009-02-20T08:30:00.000-08:00

You let me in andI eat your brains.

Out of Bounds

2009-02-19T20:45:00.000-08:00

"The dilemma we face is how do we obtain the energy that we need to grow our economy," worries the concerned businessman."The dilemma [we face] is how do we obtain the energy that we need to grow our econom[y] in a way that is not rapidly accelerating climate change," says someone who may-or-may-not-be the president of the united states, making the reasonable counterargument."The dilemma we face

A Treasure!

2009-02-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

Uncovered this today, which is somewhat analogous to much of our own Fafmissian wisdom:"All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense."From: PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA -or- How I Found Goddess And What I Did To

Today's Recipe

2009-02-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

The day’s preoccupation is with hearts,For surely ‘twas St. Valentine’s desireThat, bristling with Cupid’s tiny darts,Each heart be warmed in love’s rapacious fire.Once pierced and cooked, if dart shafts still protrudeWith loving hands it should be lightly scoured,In chocolate and brandy fully stewed,Then garlanded with ribbons, and beflowered.And, if the heart yet beats, it must be soakedFor

On the Epistemology of Economics

2009-02-12T07:29:00.000-08:00

Yes, Spot, I suppose there is some actual Science in Economics, probably I’m just not smart enough to understand it. But economic theory seems to spend a lot of time arguing about whether or not phlogiston moves through the luminiferous Ether in an inverse Laffer curve, so perhaps there is less there than meets the eye. One thing that’s obvious is that money in large quantities has the power to

Who's Stimulated Now?

2009-02-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

Well, Spot, when I asked Uncle George about that, he laughed and called it 'banker porn'. He said, "Where of you been, boy? Don't you know that a big chunk of the general population is so broke they have to sell their retirement funds for pennies - just to survive." "Yeah," I said, "the economy is, like, really really bad, so why...? Hunh HEY!" Uncle George had slapped me on the back of the head

WAVELAND

2009-01-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

New and Improved!"You kids aren't in there watching commercials, are you?""Uhh... yeah.""What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?""That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying.""That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous.""Whatever, Dad."I know I said

We're All Bob Cratchit Now

2008-12-23T21:45:00.000-08:00

I've always been partial to Bob Cratchit, myself, anyway.Hey, Spot. I heard a new definition for "middle class" on the radio* yesterday. Lawrence Mishel, president of the Economic Policy Institute, defines the middle class today as "Really almost everybody in America except the very well off." While that stretches to the breaking point the definition of the word 'middle,' I think it's true in

To Deck Or Not To Deck

2008-12-17T13:55:00.001-08:00

Admittedly, we don't have much in the way of halls here, or even much holly with which to deck them even if we did. Have them. Halls. But that's not important.What is important is that there is a decided lack of both 'Peace on Earth' and 'Good Will Towards Men' right about now. We're going to change that. And by 'we', I mean all three or four of us (five counting Spot).So, in honor of this

Polka Dot Sing-a-long!

2008-12-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

Best Practices for Safe Governance

2008-12-04T12:11:00.000-08:00

According to Best Practices for DOT Random Drug and Alcohol Testing: What’s the best tool employers have for deterring drug and alcohol use in the workplace?Random Testing. And, here are just a few of the reasons why:· Saves lives and prevents injuries.· Helps employers identify workers with substance abuse issues and facilitate their treatment.· Allows employees to easily say no to illegal drug

Oh, Thanks For All This Dang Bounty!

2008-11-26T13:38:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a great tradition. The first Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1955 just outside Paris, by four old guys at a small picnic table. They enjoyed a traditional French meal – squab, dumplings, corn fritters, fudge, and a jello mold. Little did these brave pioneers know that they had just enjoyed the repast that would be heard around the world! [Squab can do that, you know… if you eat

Wednesday Mooncake Blogging

2008-11-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

Making mooncakes for the Mid-Autumn festival requires not just an understanding of what goes into the mooncake, but also an appreciation of what does not go into the mooncake.Ingredients:Consider the following filling ingredients: 1 cup red azuki beans, 3/4 cup Smart Balance spread, 3/4 cups sugar, 1/4 teaspoon salt.Consider the following dough ingredients: 1 cup flour, 5 tablespoons Smart

vacancy

2008-11-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

i slipped on the banana peel of your smilecracked my spine on the pavement of your loveafter three days of serving me ice cream in bedyou got bored......and lefton the motorcycleof my entrails

One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

2008-11-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

Whether 'tis nobler to seize yon One Ring and with it strike down the sly corruption that twists and bleeds our strength uncheck't,or, forthwith restore the One unto the wholesome Three and then, perchance, be impotent to heal this dire wound by the Three divid'd

Loose the Moose!

2008-11-05T07:25:00.000-08:00

Today we are taking a moment out of our celebration of the beginning of the post-Bush era to ask you to give . . . give ‘til it hurts. To the Alaska Independence Party.We review the headlines about the Alaska election results and hope you will help us with what we'd like to call "Assisted Secession”:NY Times:Barely a week after he was convicted on seven felony counts, Senator Ted Stevens of

USSSA WATCH

2008-11-05T05:40:00.000-08:00

World Gone Mad The president elect is black, the spectre of socialism looms over America, and across the pond, Morrissey is fat.Socialism in A Landslide!Chaplain MontagUSSSA (United Soviet Socialist States of Ameroika) WATCH is a new feature here at ILP,S! Let's see how long it lasts!DAY -77: "President. Elect. Obama." Let those words rattle around in your head for a minute. Don't you realize

The Real Fake Pie Blogging

2008-11-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

Ritz Mock Apple PieThe classic pie, featuring Ritz crackers baked in a golden crust,is perfect for the holidays.Pastry for two-crust 9-inch pie36 RITZ Crackers, coarsely broken (about 1 3/4 cups crumbs)1 3/4 cups water2 cups sugar2 teaspoons cream of tartar2 tablespoons lemon juiceGrated peel of one lemon2 tablespoons margarine or butter1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon1. Roll out half the pastry and

Thursday Night Quote-O-Rama

2008-10-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

"I never had much faith in leaders. I am willing to be charged with almost anything, rather than to be charged with being a leader. I am suspicious of leaders, and especially of the intellectual variety. Give me the rank and file every day in the week. If you go to the city of Washington, and you examine the pages of the Congressional Directory, you will find that almost all of those corporation

Prayer Warrior Alert!

2008-10-23T01:26:00.000-07:00

An urgent message for all Prayer Warriors:Block African witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin NOW! Jim BramlettSep 28 2008 04:12PM Dear friends:THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.Minutes ago I spoke with friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting in his home to pray against the

Molestation fearmongering in four easy steps

2008-10-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

1. Prey on Fears of Child Molestation to Commit Vote FraudJacoby's arrest by state investigators and the Ontario Police Department late Saturday came after dozens of voters said they were duped into registering as Republicans by people employed by YPM. The voters said YPM workers tricked them by saying they were signing a petition to toughen penalties against child molesters. [Evan Halper, "

It's the brains, stupid!

2008-10-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Even if ignorance is bliss there is no excuse to wear it on ones sleeve as if it were the fashion of the week. We live in a wonderful country, but democracy is not a God given right. Government of the people, by the people, for the people is more precious than gold. But, friends, it is slipperier than greased lightning and disappears twice as fast if the people don't attend to it every minute.

Friday Night Poesy

2008-10-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

The old Navy pilot and septuagenarianSenator fumed, in a funkFor his party had vetoed his VP pick, JoeAnd the rest of the candidates stunk.“What to do?” he cried outWith a quavering shout“Mr. Rove says I need a slam-dunk!”So he squinted, and pondered, and paced to and froThinking, “Who might appeal to the rubes?”And then, in a flash, the thought came through at last:“Hey I know – I’ll distract

Attn: Public, like totally free, Service Announcement

2008-10-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

BBC-TV: "Set up to steal it again." Is 2008 already fixed?Friday October 10, 2008 "A lot of Europeans wonder: Why are Americans so crazy, they keep reelecting this guy?" Well the answer is, we don't! They keep stealing these elections! And they stole it in 2000, they stole it in 2004,and they’re all set up to steal it again!" - Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on BBC Television Newsnight.On Friday at 6pm

ELECTION OF THE DEAD '08

2008-10-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

Mixed economy "neo-New Dealism" got you in a funk?Worried John McCain is on board with a "corporate progressivism" that will inevitably lead to some sort of corporate fascist police state?Concerned Barak Obama is a hard left Manchurian Candidate who will inevitably establish some sort of Stalinistic Communist police state?There are those among us who refuse to acknowledge any significant

Meet me in St. Louis!

2008-10-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight is a big night. A big, big night. Big.Tonight is fight night! Sarah 'Moose' Palin will be taking on 'Smokin' Joe' Biden for the middleweight champeenship of the US of A! Will it go the distance? Does 'Smokin' Joe' have a glass jaw? Will the 'Moose' be on the loose? Will this be a festival of jabs and clinches, or will there be a knockout? Over/UndersFolksy Witticisms -- 6Major

President Palin’s Got a Plan

2008-09-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

By the Right Reverend P. M. CavendishFriends: I had a chance to sit down and catch up with my old pal Sarah Palin for a brief interview. The interview itself happened in a dream, which perhaps accounts for why she wore a sleeveless tk'chita, or traditional Moroccan gown, and occasionally paused to breakdance.Good thing about this interview, too, because it puts the lie to the idea that she has

McCain/Bush PLAGIARIZES Debs’ Platform

2008-09-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

By Cappy RudyardMembers of the conservative junta are so intent on making sure that the tattered shreds of our economy hold together until the election is over that they will stop at nothing. Today’s news shows that not only are they willing to co-opt Obama’s “change” meme, but have completely plagiarized Debs’ “public ownership” message. But they get it completely wrong.With 80% public ownership

Ask Herr Doktor Blume

2008-09-14T12:12:00.000-07:00

Installment #2. “Black Man disrespects White Woman”Dr. Blume has degrees in Logotherapy from the Österreichische gesellschaft für logotherapie nach Victor Frankl in Vienna and in Nail Technology from the Schilling-Douglas School of Hair Design in Newark. Every week, he answers your questions about will to meaning, pedicures, and especially libido.Q. Dear Dr. Blume,As a lifelong Republican, I can’

Grandfathers Eating Our Graves

2008-09-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

I can't take my eyes or ears or aching heart off this haunting video. This song might actually be about the experience of listening to this song.Mariee Sioux - Buried in Teeth

Why All This Talk Of Tarting Up Our Beloved Domesticated Animals?

2008-09-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

(Cross Posted from the ever stupid http://happysockfuntime.com)I don't know about you folks, but all this "Hoopla" and "Whoop De Doop" about putting cosmetics on our beloved animal friends has gotten my dander up!First off, Sarah Palin herself said that the only difference between a "Hockey Mom" and a "Pitbull" is "Lipstick." And Barack Obama had the "Audacity" to talk about putting lipstick on

October Demise:

2008-09-05T09:03:00.001-07:00

A pre-emptive conspiracy theoryor Last night I had the strangest dreamWait for it. A Palin/Petraeus ticket would combine sympathy for McCain (Cindy could cut a spot telling voters “it is what John would have wanted”), with the military imprimatur of a hastily retired Surgin' General, with a Woman-Who-Couldn't-Be-That-Crazy at the top of the ticket (catalyzing a “Maggie Thatcher effect”). They hit

RECIPE

2008-09-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

Title: MURDERCategories: CAKES Servings: 1 1 c insults 1/2 c scowlsSeveral lg punches 2/3 c loathing 1 ts antipathy 2 c hostilityPreparation : Crush insults and scowls utterly. Slowly stir in loathing. Sift antipathy and hostility and mash in vigorously. Add punches to taste. Scorch until color is the black of your heart. Serve cold.

HORSE RACING

2008-08-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

There's a Machiavellian Plot to Rule the World... In My Pants!While Your Reluctant Bartender has a personal policy of stringent, non-partisan distrust of all Power Seekers, there is nonetheless bar to be tended. (Whatever that means.)We could argue that it's a case of fighting fire with fire against the acidic sexism displayed by the candidate himself, described by Herr Doktor Blume in this

Does a homosexual couple become a heterosexual couple if one of them has a sex change?

2008-08-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

1. Yes, in fact, this is a good end run around the gay marriage controversy.2. No, there is too much ickiness for mere surgery to compensate.3. Ewww. Wrinkly and gray, flipping and flopping together, waay too much visual! I can't think about it. What's on TV? Note:After giving your choice, please comment amongst yourselves until I have something that I can cobble a quote out of.

The Skinny on Wall Street Journamalism

2008-08-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

That’s Bonita Granville in “Nancy Drew, Reporter!” arguing with the City Editor of the River Heights Gazette about getting an assignment that has no news content. Those were the days! Today, a lack of news content is exactly what the enterprising young reporter craves, and the job of the City Editor has become part of the duties of the Advertising Manager. But, you ask, how can I become a modern

MONEY

2008-07-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

"It sounds like a good time to re-start the conversation about getting Reagan on the $10 bill," Norquist said. "I don’t know why the Bush administration has dropped the ball on this."[Examiner.com:Yeas & Nays - Only three years left till Reagan’s birthday!]Fantastic idea, Spot!

Tell Me About Your Marvelous Ape

2008-07-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

Ask Herr Doktor BlumeInstallment #1. “Tell Me About Your Marvelous Ape”Dr. Blume has degrees in Logotherapy from the Österreichische gesellschaft für logotherapie nach Victor Frankl in Vienna and in Nail Technology from the Schilling-Douglas School of Hair Design in Newark. Every week, he answers your questions about will to meaning, pedicures, and especially libido. Q. Dear Dr. Blume,Why is it

Cappy Rudyard takes on General Clark

2008-07-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

By Cappy RudyardAhoy, there! It has been five months since the earth-shaking 08 endorsement of Eugene Debs for President was published, and the cockroaches are scattering as if someone opened a door and shone a bright electric light inside. The professionally irate James Dobson was the first to skitter away from the light, opining that only he knows the proper way to interpret the Bible (which,

Equal Time for the Publicans

2008-05-24T23:50:00.000-07:00

Now, some may say the media's obsessive preoccupation with the Democratic primaries can only serve to crowd out other candidates and even actual news events. But, as you and I know, it's just the typical Liberal Media inaction in action. So this Sunday let's take a moment to offer the long overlooked Corporate Business-As-Usual Lobby a chance to present their core message.

HEROES OF EMPIRE #3

2008-05-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

Donald O. HebbCollect them all![Cross-posted.]

just...a...little...longer

2008-05-12T11:08:00.001-07:00

Happy Honeymoon

2008-05-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

(T) (F) On 25 July 1554, Mary Tudor married Prince Felipe of Spain in Winchester Cathedral, bringing about a powerful political alliance between the two countries. (T) (F) Virginia is to Texas as England is to Spain Jenna Bush weds Virginia politician's sonSat May 10, 2008

DAMN RIGHT I'M BITTER!!!!!! ZED '08

2008-04-23T20:33:00.001-07:00

the endorsements keep coming in...Should I hate a people for the shade of their skinOr the shape of their eyes or the shape I'm inShould I hate 'em for having our jobs todayNo I hate the men sent the jobs away...We Can't Make It Here Anymore James McMurtry(I speak for Eugene Debs when I approve this message)

Sunday Sing-a -long: Now with added Lobster

2008-04-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

There is no hidden message here! At least, not to your limited perception.

Angry Pie!

2008-04-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

Don't mess with this pie!!!!!This pie is on the lam. This pie just escaped from the kitchen of the state penitentiary in Huntsville, TX! They said no cooling rack could hold it. It's got an evil heart, this pie. An evil, delicious heart. And a knife! If you sass this pie it will cut you!This pie is wanted in 15 states... it was serving 15-20 after a horrible rampage of violence.... because

CorpoRat Media: irrational attacks on ZED supporters

2008-04-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you something else, Jon Stewart is taking a beating from the CorpoRats lately. The same CorpoRat biased media is claiming that Jon Stewart is a scab. Now I'm telling you that being a writer who is given no credit, that, that, it's a thankless invisible job! You have the funny ideas and the guy who repeats them on air takes the credit. But, when the writers went on strike, Jon had this

Momentum, baby!

2008-04-10T11:01:00.000-07:00

Wow! The endorsements keep coming. Nadine Strossen, President of the American Civil Liberties Union, gets off the fence:The fight to free Debs almost a century ago was the first time that Americans organized to defend the right to speak against war. A timely lesson for us today."It's the BRAINS, stupid" - ZED 08

Another Endorsement

2008-04-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

Jon Stewart, the smirking television personality who had figured out the Iraq War before many other Americans, follows conservative actor Bruce Willis' endorsement with one of his own:ROLLING STONE: I read that one of your childhood heroes was Eugene Debs, the five-time Socialist Party candidate for president in the early twentieth century.STEWART: Yeah, baby!"It's the BRAINS, stupid" - ZED 08

Celebrity Endorsement

2008-04-08T13:23:00.000-07:00

ZED's Dead, BabyThanks for the endorsement, Bruce, but the candidate wants his chopper back.Z.E.D. in '08

ELECTION OF THE DEAD '08

2008-04-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

Deadsidential candidate, Zombie Eugene Debs, delivers a speech on US-Iran relations.A Warmonger's WarmongerI Like Pie's endorsed candidate for the '08 election, Zombie Eugene Debs, has risen from the grave and sent us the following position paper on the "Warmonger" issue. - Cappy RudyardRecently, folksy radio host Ed Schultz called John McCain a "warmonger" and this is making some people cry

HEROES OF EMPIRE #2

2008-04-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

I guess it'll be ok to post here, still. I been sittin' on this one since before The First...Zbigniew BrzezinskiCollect them all!PS: I'll werk on maybe a different header image sometime... eventually.[Cross-posted.]

Why This Blog is Not the Best Blog!

2008-04-01T19:37:00.000-07:00

(Well, other than the obvious reason that it is not the Fafblog... speaking of which, thank goodness the Fafblog is back! Lordy, how we missed you. We tried to keep a light on for you, Fafblog. Sure, it was a 10 watt bug bulb with a blob of paint on one side, from that summer Grandpa tried to paint the back porch after he quit drinking, but still. We did the best we could.)I dread this... but

NOTICE

2008-04-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

THEY'REBAAAAACK!Click Fafblog!

HEROES OF EMPIRE

2008-03-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

Kermit Roosevelt, Jr.[Cross-posted.]

Happy Birthday, Fafblog!

2008-03-25T17:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to youHappy Brthday to youHappy Birthday dear Fafblog!Happy Birthday to you

Up The Economy! (With Pie)

2008-03-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

Fill the wide world with fine machinesBuild bumper cars, and guillotinesAnd castanets, and fighter jets...We'll all rise into the sky!And forgive us our status quo,As we overlook all our hearts should knowHelp us safely choose when to blithely lose...Another's slice of higher pie!And our tired old beauty queenShot through cellophane, and vaselineGiven softer lights, and spandex tights...She'll be

POLITICS

2008-03-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

Who Ya Gonna Call?"We HAVE to get these two together.""I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous."

John McCain’s “Road To Damascus”

2008-03-02T12:01:00.000-08:00

Friends:Many of you may have noticed my absence during the past few months. When I last spoke to you, I was explaining to you how Mr. Giuliani’s multiple affairs actually reflected well on his character.I was, of course, deeply injured by an ungodly public’s rejection of both my message and the candidate I felt had certainly been sent by God. I sought solitude and reflection at Saint Maximilian’s

The Economy

2008-03-01T23:20:00.000-08:00

What will you do with YOUR rebate check?

White Words

2008-02-29T04:43:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this is some kinda Leap Day joke or something, but we're gonna all close our eyes, and whoever took all the black ink can just put it back, and there won't be any trouble. Or heartache.

just 'cuz it's just that good

2008-02-28T19:51:00.001-08:00

Spoiler Alert!If you want to enjoy the 2008 political season without knowing the ending, DO NOT CLICK on the video below!Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Earlyh/t The Agonist: h/t Corrente: h/t The Onion---bodiciah t rentlord III

Objectivism, irrational exuberance and free market principals

2008-02-25T22:28:00.001-08:00

Alan Greenspan, one of acolytes in Ayn Rand's inner circle, and the man who created the 1987 stock market crash, less than two months after President Reagan gave him the keys to the Fed. After proving himself so quickly, it is little wonder that he stayed the course for the next twenty years.3-D-Land News recently asked him about the economy after twenty years of free slashing and free burning

Technical Difficulty

2008-02-21T05:33:00.000-08:00

Looks like my site is down. Not this one, obviously, but the one where many of the images for IMF,S! are stored. Ironically, my web hosting company's motto is, "Always Up, Fast and Easy." One out of three, it turns out, is pretty bad.In any case, sorry about the mess. We can only hope things will be back to normal soon.Wait a minute, the internet isn't stored on satellites is it? (By the way

The More Things Change the More they Stay the Same

2008-02-14T19:14:00.000-08:00

You want change? Well we've got your change right here!(See also.)