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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Slow-Bleeders Are Wrong

Billy Bathgate
Dangerous Democrat leaders have revealed their war plan. It is a plan so craven that it's difficult to even believe the words that describe the plan might have been uttered. Right thinking news organizations and political parties are already addressing the issue; but the egregiousness of this treachery is such that none of US can afford to ignore it.

For instance this is what Murtha and Pelosi have in mind:
They call it their ’slow-bleed’ plan. Instead of supporting the troops in Iraq, or simply bringing them home, the Democrats intend to gradually make it harder and harder for them to do their jobs. [Republican National Committee]

Can you believe that in today's world of the political sound bite, they actually call it their 'slow-bleed' plan?!

There is a better plan.

Remember when Dutch Schultz punched Billy Bathgate in the nose to cover up the bloodstain on the hotel room carpet? Remember how Billy Bathgate dropped to his knees, and the blood flowed as if the bottom had dropped out of a bucket?

This is not an example of what you would call a 'slow-bleed,' now is it? It is the ideal strategy for US in the Mid East, however.

The effect of a sharp blow across the bridge of the nose of Iran, followed by a quick massive hemorrhage will be threefold:
  1. Aspiring rogue, evil, nuclear, terror state, Iran, will be brought to it's knees and come to understand it's place in Our World.

  2. Our World will quickly forget about the unsightly bloodstain on the carpet that was Iraq.

  3. The fledgling Phoenix of Mid East Democracy will rise, clean the dry, cracked blood from its muddy face and sign reconstruction contracts and free trade agreements with all the nation of Our World; answering the collect call of the universal appeal of liberty and accepting the charges.

In the end, Our New Mid East will be a shining example of the Naked Power of Freedom.

We cannot allow unhinged mavens of peacenickery, the Slow-Bleeders, to hijack the process of freedom! VICTORY OR BUST!

--Chaplain Montag of the First Knights of the 19 Quart Lobster Pot

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"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



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