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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Ann Coulter: Illegal Alien

Revealing photograph “incontrovertible” says Fafmissen News Today.

Notice anything unusual about this photo? A careful examination shows that the creature on the right has three hands where normal people have only two. There also appears to be a second arm on the creatures left side although there is no extra hand visible on that side. A leading art expert told us that it is, “…obviously… an artistic statement. The two small hands on the creatures right contrasted against by the one larger dominating hand on its left, are clearly a symbolic statement that ‘two Rights make a Left’." In other words the artist was saying that one on the left is worth twice as much as one on the right.

However, an amateur forensic xenobiologist later convinced us that we can clearly see that the large 'hand' on the creatures left actually looks more like a tentacle. And that directly below it we can see a second tentacle or arm or whatever the proper term is. Assuming that the rules of biological symmetry that apply on this planet hold true for this creature, we can now see that the creature has at least four appendages on the upper part of its torso. The lower one on its left is merely turned away from the camera so we cannot see all of it. A the top of the torso, on each side it appears to have a tentacle ending in a group of smaller prehensile graspers or suckers. Directly below, one on each side, is a similar appendage ending in some sort hook or claw. Without more evidence it would be foolish to speculate whether this creature holds its prey down with the lower claws while using the upper tentacles to suck out its lifeblood, or whether it attaches itself, leechlike, with the upper tentacles and then uses the lower claws like spears to violently penetrate the soft downy belly of its prey.

What is clear is that we do not have any emigration policies in place for extraterrestrials, so until creditable medical and biological evidence of terrestrial origin can be obtained, we must assume this alien is here illegally, it is definitely armed and we must assume it is dangerous.

Hat tip to Gen. JC Christian, Patriot

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Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



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