If you're like me, you hate it when the president of the United States tries to interfere with your attempts to pursue peace! Are there any ways to get him to loosen up about stuff like this? Here's the problem: my Defense Forces Chief of Staff, Gabi Ashkenazi, really wants us to renew secret negotiations with Syria, the idea being to to put some distance between Damascus and Iran, to kinda push Syria towards closer relations with moderate Arab states. However, some of my other advisors are terrified that any such effort will make Bush angry. Toooo annoying - the U.S. just keeps lurking and meddling! I know, I know the president means well and is trying to be protective, but c'mon, enough already! Nowadays, I feel like all Mr. George W. Meshugener wants is "regime change" here and "regime change" there. Why won't he stop interfering with our attempts to forge peace between my country and Syria? Help!!!
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert
Dear Prime Minister Ehud Olmert,
So, it seems like you have a 'president problem!' I'm sorry to hear this. The leader of the free world is being overprotective, you're absolutely correct, and there should be some kind of limit to his lurking and meddling. Israel does need it's space and privacy, after all.
However, I'm afraid can help you, IPMEO. We don't know what to do about him over here, either!