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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Monday, June 11, 2007
Georgie and The Pontiff

Our latest hard-hitting news summary was maybe too hard-hitting and newsy for those with refined and delicate sensibilities, so we have decided to soften our hard-hitting coverage style by abandoning it altogether and instead will offer to you, gentle reader (and also to Spot), something else. So here is a poem what I wrote (and also entered into Blue Gal's Contest so I could maybe even win a fabulous prize for IMF,S!)

It is entitled:

Georgie and The Pontiff

Pope Benedict the X – V – I
and Georgie Porgie Puddin’ & Pie
Met up for tea the other day,
And both of them had stuff to say.
(Oh, to be a Cardinal on the wall.)

His Holiness intones,

“My Presidential Georgie P!
We very much should like to see
You end your awful, messy war
And do some more to help the poor!”
(He ends with a beatific smile.)

Then Georgie pipes up,

“Hey looky here now, Mr. Pope!
You must think I’m a big fat dope!
The U.S. can not leave Iraq
Until we’ve got our safety back!
And, as for helping out the poor,
Well, noone wants to help them more...
So I’ve got a smart idea, see?
We’ll make the POOR our Mili-ta-ry!”
(Georgie points to his sweet-smart-pumpkin-head and smirky-winks.)

(The Pope is not amused!)

The Pope shoots forth an angry scowl
From the depths of his Papal cowl
And straightens to his tallest height,
Then hollers out with all his might!
(And oh! His voice booms, Wagner-style!)

“The poor do not belong to thee!
Nay! They belong to G-O-D
And thou wouldst give them guns? You fool!
Instead you should send them to school!
Yes! Teach them to accept their lot,
And not to want what they’ve not got…
But to arm them? What if things go sour?
They might realize they’ve got some power!”

(A shadow falls across the Pope's face for a moment, then he looks up at Georgie P. Each stares into the other’s eyes searchingly and then, as comprehension dawns, they fall into an embrace, weeping.)


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