Meanwhile in Iraq, George's troops were getting all blown up and stuff. The Iraqi government had even asked for them to leave. But George was convinced that if he pulled his troops out, Iraq would become a rogue nation full of nothing but well-funded terrorists just itching to travel to his hometown and blow stuff up for revenge and stuff. What to do? What to do? thought George as he paced in circles around the Oval Office...
Duh! Have a drink - He said to himself - Makes everything betterish and all. And it did and so he had another. The next day, when he woke up on top of a puddle of pee, he suddenly realized why Laura chose that yellow carpet for the Oval Office. "Gedkarl" he shrieked, and next time he opened his eyes, Karl was sitting on the settee with a look of disgust on his face. George staggered over.
"Whaddameyegonnadokarl" George breathed into his face. "Get away from me!" Karl replied calmly. "Geddawayfromeewhat?" "Get. Away. From. Me. Sir. Then I'll tell you."
George sat behind his big desk, the one with a big gun in every drawer and the naughty photo of Condi in the top one. The photo which had driven Laura and the girls away to Alaska before Karl got them back. He put his head in his hands. Ooh. Too much thinking.
Karl stood up, but didn't approach. He began, "The whole thing, sir, is that people perceive you as an incompetent idiot. That is good..." George looked up. "Purrceeve?" he asked, "Howgood?" "Perceive, sir, means to think. They think you're an incompetent idiot." "Sowhad? Sodoes dad." "Karl said, "Exactly!"
"So we launch "Operation Goofy George" and use your biggest weakness as your biggest strength". George had passed out again. Karl called the orderlies to remove the President and the carpet cleaners up from their office in the White House basement.
The next day, George went to New Orleans to celebrate the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.
Part Three teaser: France stepped into the drawing room and there he was, Kofi, with a big bouquet of red roses. France caught her breath. Her lips parted. And then...