So, first the French were like all "We're only sending 200 peacekeepers to Lebanon", then George and Kofi were all like, "You need to send more since we are involved in a war of our own (George) and we have no troops of our own (Kofi)." Then France was like, "Ummmm.... Well..... We'll think about it and get back to you next Tuesday". But the Kofi was all like, "Listen, France, we've gotta get Israel out of there because of all the stuff that happened last time they occupied Lebanon. Plus, you used to occupy Lebanon, so you are the best one to send troops." George went down to New Orleans to eat flapjacks, so France just was like, "Forget him!"
Then France wouldn't return Kofi's phone calls for a couple of days because France had just read "The Rules" and wanted to see if they worked. And they did. 'Cuz Kofi said, "I'm sorry about what I said about you occupying Lebanon and all since what you really were doing was colonizing Lebanon" and that melted France's heart so France said, "O.K., we'll send 2000 troops, but only if those other countries also send troops. We aren't going to be the only ones in there with the Israelis since we distrust and fear the Israelis. Plus, they keep talking to each other in Hebrew even when we are in the room and that is just rude!". And Kofi smiled.
So, France gathered her finest troops together and was in the process of wrapping them up with a pink ribbon so they would look extra nice for Kofi when France thought: Wait a second, what about the bridges? So, France tossed in an extra couple of hundred engineering troops to fix some of the hundreds of bridges bombed to hell and back by the Israelis.
Part Two teaser: Meanwhile in Iraq, George's troops were getting all blown up and stuff. The Iraqi government had even asked for them to leave. But George was convinced that if he pulled his troops out, Iraq would become a rogue nation full of nothing but well-funded terrorists just itching to travel to his hometown and blow stuff up for revenge and stuff.
What to do? What to do? thought George as he paced in circles around the Oval Office...