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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Monday, October 30, 2006
Evening of the Living Dead

One doesn't often find oneself at an authentic Washington DC Hallowe'en Party. But there I was in the exclusive enclave of Southeast Estates, a grated community surrounded by slums. The district is dusty and flat, but recent rains transformed it into a fetid mud-pie. The buildings, typically old-style Washington, are two-storied with wrought-iron balconies.

Shepherding the event was doyenne Frida Burling. Normally this means a rather uneventful evening with stark, high-concept floral arrangements and barely a pumpkin in sight, but this night would be different. Soon after my arrival, Bob Schieffer draped a colorful sisal handbag over his shoulder and began sowing seed everywhere, while international catering star Marcel Wolterinck made an offering of chickens as food for the gods during an unholy animal sacrifice with much blood. Then a possession involving Senator John Warner took place, and arriving from the world of the spirits was the redoubtable Charles Rebozo, more often called Bebe, the guardian of the cemetery.

Bebe/Senator John Warner strutted around with two Cuban cigars in his mouth wearing a top hat and tails, one hand eagerly tickling the bottoms of Nina Pillsbury and Maria Shriver, the other holding a tall glass of rum with red-hot peppers. Sandra Day O'Connor and John O'Connor, Robert Bennett, Erica Moorehead, Paul and Pat Stern, Larry King and Don Imus, Giorgio and Anna Maria Via , Mandy Ourisman, Gail Scott and husband Fred Hubig also became possessed by Bebe. They leapt to their feet with wild howls and raced to the buffet where amuse bouche and pepper-spiked raw rum were offered to the gods. They gulped down the rum and began shivering and quaking, crying out wordlessly. The other partygoes commenced a wild and impassioned dance. There was no singing, only an occasional call from the crowd, "Come to us, Bebe!" The dancing reached its climax and the dancers collapsed to the floor.

All eyes turned to an exotic, fabulously outfitted woman in a vivid orange silk suit with a stunning spray of diamond skulls and an explosion of fire curving around her head. It was Rep. Mary Bono! The front door slowly swung open. The darkness of the surrounding slums penetrated the inner temple of Southeast Estates. A sepia hand reached out from that darkness and took Mary's and drew her outside. The glassy-eyed, costumed partygoers mutely followed her, the door shutting behind them. I remained inside, standing before the door.

The party was over. I made my way to the buffet and picked up one of the bottles from which they had drunk. There were a few drops of the fiery rum left in it. I poured them onto my finger and tasted it. For hours afterward my mouth was on fire.

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Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



Links to Actual Fafblogs

Sorta Fafblogian Link Types
Anonymous Lawyer
Armageddon Cocktail Hour
Baby Toupees
Bateman, Scott
Billionaires For Bush
Blue Gal
Chalk, Mr.
Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Calvary!
Chicken Suits
CompareNContrast Wars
Cool Hunter
Crooks and Liars
Culture Ghost, The
Dateline Hollywood
Defeatists, The
Doodle Bean
Guys From Area 51
Happy Sock Fun Time (thepuppethead)
Harris, Bob (includes occasional pudus!)
Improv Everywhere
Jesus' General!
Lark News
Laughing Squid
Le Pétomane
Liberal Fascism
Little Green Fascists
Maximumize Positive Chaos
Mental Floss Magazine
Mouse and Rat Breeds
Noah Kalina Every Day
Onion, The
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
Perrin, Dennis
Roger Ailes' Fox-TV Blog
Sadly, No!
Shakespeare, Neil
Obsidian Wings
Stump Lane (Montag)
Swift, Jon
Swift Report, The
Tristam Shandy
Who Is IOZ
Zaius Nation
Ze Frank

Argue With Everyone
Casa de Los Gatos
Fret Free Fridays
Grow a Brain
Hellbound in Denver
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Blogosphere
Matilda's Advice and Rants
Miss Cellania
The Republic of Dogs
Doug Richardson
Trick of the Light
Vidiot Speak

Special "Look Around You" Video Section
Part One: Maths
Part Two: Water
Part Three: Germs
Part Four: Ghosts
Part Five: Sulphur
Part Six: Music
Part Seven: Iron
Part Eight: Brain

Special Other Video Section
Aranjuez Quartet - Classical Guitarists
How to Talk Like a Pirate
Matrix Ping Pong
OK Go!
Soldier Head Twist
The Supersonic Future


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This is a homage blog to the apparently moribund Fafblog. Any copyright violations are pretty much unintentional and are the fault of that dastardly Doodle Bean!

Have something to say about Fafblog or this blog? Email Montag at montag-at-stumplane-dot-us.