Send As SMS

  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
The War Formerly Known as The War On Christmas (2029)

"Season's Greetings, Gizzard," says me.


"What's wrong buddy? Looks like we're gonna have the first white winter since mean ol' Al Gore fired up his heat ray!"

"I don't like the sounds of that, 'Season's Greetings,' Falkor. What happened to 'Happy Holidays?'"

"'Season's Greetings' is all inclusive, Gizzard! Isn't that wonderful?"

"NO!" Says Gizzard, "I told those guys we shouldn't surrender the War on Christmas to the Politicalcorrectofascists!"

"Shhhh! Careful what you say there, Gizzard. I hope The Agency wasn't listenin' when ya said the C-word!" Says me. "Look, 'Season's Greetings' is better. Everybody observes the seasons! It's just more inclusive and respectful."

"You can't police respect, Falkor! It can't be legislated."

"Tell that to President Clinton (44) and the '09 Congress. Remember? The very first thing they did was pass the 'There's No Christ in Xmas' constitutional amendment. Then they brought the country along by withholding all pork barrel spending 'til 2/3 a the states ratified it," says me.

"Yes," says Gizzard. "Alas, brave Montana just couldn't hold out without their border-fence money--- And they were being invaded with illegals! Bless their hearts."

"Just be cool, Gizzard," says me. "Knock it off with the 'Holiday' thing, ok?"

"There's nothin' wrong with 'holiday!' Who doesn't like a day off from work?"

"Gizzard, 'holiday' means 'holy day.' Not everyone is holy." says me.

"Holiday. Holiday! HOLIDAY!! HOLY DAY!!!"

"Stop, Gizzard, stop! Please, it's a fragile peace. You're gonna start another War!" Says me.

"We should have had this war back in '09. We shoulda had it good. This time we'll give them a war: A HOLY WAR!"

"Oh no. Gizzard! The Agency Police are here. ... Take it easy on him, guys. ... I know you can't talk with the hood on, Gizzard, but if you can hear me, have a great season! I promise I'll come find you in the New Year! Whatever it takes. ... Keep your spirits up! I hear the gulags are full of spirit this time of year. I'll miss ya ol' buddy! ... Mr. Agent, where are you taking him? ... Ooo! He get's to go for a helicopter ride?! ... Did ya hear that, buddy? YOU GET TO GO FOR A HELICOPTER RIDE! ... Hey, Mr. Agent what ya doin now? OOF! Hey, why'd ya hit me with your flashlight for? OOF! Hey, STOP! ... OOF!---"

Season's Greetings from I Miss Fafblog, Spot!

Some Rights Reserved. Guess which ones!

Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



Links to Actual Fafblogs

Sorta Fafblogian Link Types
Anonymous Lawyer
Armageddon Cocktail Hour
Baby Toupees
Bateman, Scott
Billionaires For Bush
Blue Gal
Chalk, Mr.
Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Calvary!
Chicken Suits
CompareNContrast Wars
Cool Hunter
Crooks and Liars
Culture Ghost, The
Dateline Hollywood
Defeatists, The
Doodle Bean
Guys From Area 51
Happy Sock Fun Time (thepuppethead)
Harris, Bob (includes occasional pudus!)
Improv Everywhere
Jesus' General!
Lark News
Laughing Squid
Le Pétomane
Liberal Fascism
Little Green Fascists
Maximumize Positive Chaos
Mental Floss Magazine
Mouse and Rat Breeds
Noah Kalina Every Day
Onion, The
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
Perrin, Dennis
Roger Ailes' Fox-TV Blog
Sadly, No!
Shakespeare, Neil
Obsidian Wings
Stump Lane (Montag)
Swift, Jon
Swift Report, The
Tristam Shandy
Who Is IOZ
Zaius Nation
Ze Frank

Argue With Everyone
Casa de Los Gatos
Fret Free Fridays
Grow a Brain
Hellbound in Denver
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Blogosphere
Matilda's Advice and Rants
Miss Cellania
The Republic of Dogs
Doug Richardson
Trick of the Light
Vidiot Speak

Special "Look Around You" Video Section
Part One: Maths
Part Two: Water
Part Three: Germs
Part Four: Ghosts
Part Five: Sulphur
Part Six: Music
Part Seven: Iron
Part Eight: Brain

Special Other Video Section
Aranjuez Quartet - Classical Guitarists
How to Talk Like a Pirate
Matrix Ping Pong
OK Go!
Soldier Head Twist
The Supersonic Future


August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008



Sumatran Rhino
Missing Fafblog! can be like the solitary life of the Sumatran rhinoceros. I Miss Fafblog, Spot!? A saltlick around which to congregate.
Leave a comment!

Powered by Blogger

This is a homage blog to the apparently moribund Fafblog. Any copyright violations are pretty much unintentional and are the fault of that dastardly Doodle Bean!

Have something to say about Fafblog or this blog? Email Montag at montag-at-stumplane-dot-us.