Mitt’s Hair

Consultants ask why
Mitt’s a guy
With “perfect” hair
Noon and night.
Hair that’s uptight
It’s perfect high and low
Advisers ask why
Don’t know
Maybe it’s the Rogaine
Unlike
John McCain...

Give us a candidate with hair
But not too “perfect” hair
Shining, streaming,
Focus-grouped
And gleaming

Give us we-can-vote-for-him hair
Reaganesque not fruity
Here’s Duncan, there’s Gingrich
Everywhere Rudy, Rudy
Hair, hair, hair, hair,
Hair, hair, hair
Chart it, part it
Let’s get the campaign started
Mitt’s hair!
Let it fly like the flag
And put
His nomination in the bag
Make a home for the brave in his hair
A little gel
Would be swell
Our surveys tell
There’s none to compare
With the beauty, the splendor,
The wonder
Of Mitt’s...
Hair, hair, hair, hair,
Hair, hair, hair
Chart it, part it
Let’s get the campaign started
Mitt’s hair!
Voters want it there but not
Too fuzzy
Or snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy or mussy
Shining, streaming,
Focus-grouped
And gleaming
Angled, star-spangled
Tested, trusted, trained
Shampooed, air-dried, and admired
Too neat, never tangled,
Unglued, or on fire!
Oh say
Did you see
The exhaustive internal
Campaign document leaked to The Boston Globe?

Mitt’s hair’s much too perfect
Perfect here
Perfect there
Perfect where
His handlers are worried
They’ll forsooth Mitt at the booth
When they see him over-coiffed
His pompadour aloft
Brilliantined
Mormon hair
His hair so
Allegoric
Maybe voters will adore it!
Oh his handlers still fret
The voters
Will be upset
By Mitt’s hair,
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Chart it, part it
Let’s get the campaign started
Mitt’s hair!
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Chart it, part it
Let’s get the campaign started
Mitt’s hair!
Mitt’s hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Chart it, part it
Let’s get the campaign started
Mitt’s hair!