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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Friday, February 16, 2007
Stains happen. We can help!

Every day we receive GLOWING TESTIMONIALS from our customers who have tried Ken's StainScram. Here are just a few!

Dear Ken,

First, I'd like to tell the whole world that your new product is the GREATEST! I used Ken's StainScram on a corner of the financial sector that several investment banks had urinated on for years. It worked wonders! I am no longer ashamed to have people come to Wall Street, since it doesn't reek anything like before. Even Goldman Sachs sparkles! The Feds had just masked the smell, but your product seems to have gotten rid of it for good!

Again, thank you for making my reputation not only with New Yorkers, but with the entire country as well!

Your friend,
Governor Spitzer

Dear Ken,

The Cheney cabal has left our national security decision-making process with a most powerful stench. It was just overpowering, let me tell you! We were convinced we would have to replace the entire bureaucracy! We took a chance, though, and bought a case of Ken's StainScram and guess what? It's a miracle! The smell is almost gone! Gone, gone, gone! Even the Defense Department is smelling cleaner!

Kudos to you and your cleaning product. We'll keep a supply on hand for cleanup should there be any more "accidents" in the future!

Thanks again and again,
Anonymous bureaucrat

Dear Ken

After my Party and I woke up from a six year nap we decided that we were never going to leave our country alone with the GOP again! The whole place smelled so awful that it was driving us batty! I was driven over the edge after I shampooed an area of the House of Representatives. George Bush walked right over to my freshly cleaned area and took a pee!! I was furious! That's when I discovered your TERRIFIC product. The GOP still haven't forgiven us, but the House smells terrific again!

I will always keep cases of Ken's StainScram on hand. It is the only product that truly works!!

Yours truly,
Speaker Pelosi

Dear Ken,

I am writing to tell you how pleased we are with StainScram. We were desperate to clean up the stinking mess after election '04, but we didn't want to have to get rid of our entire state government! We finally decided to liberally apply Ken's StainScram to the governor's mansion, and by January, Ken Blackwell could not enter the front door!! It works marvelously, and we recommend it wholeheartedly to any state with similar problems!

Thank you very much for helping us solve a very frustrating problem here in Ohio!

All my very best,
Ted Strickland

Now go ahead! Try my new Ken's StainScram...TODAY!

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