The President has clearly stated that full disclosure of conversations within the White House would keep him from receiving candied advice. Many people have assumed that this was just another excuse because they have failed to realize two things.
#1. Just how true this statement is.
and #2. Just how important candied advice is in this administration.
What follows is an actual transcript of an actual conversation within the White House. We have decided to withhold the name of the aide, and on the advice of our attorneys, we have blacked out the President's side of the conversation to avoid infringing on his intellectual property rights.
-I'm sorry to barge in like this, I believe this is quite urgent - could I have just a moment to show you this, sir? I'm afraid it’s very important.
-Yes Sir, steak and eggs I see, excellent choice.
-Hahahaha - nobody tells a blonde joke like you.
-Yes I do think the camouflage silk pajamas are impressive. But then everything looks manly on you, commander. The green berets on the fluffy gorilla slippers are a nice touch too, very striking.
-She did? Really? Hahahaha Well the reason I'm here is actually...
-Yes, of course it will wait until after your workout. Gotta keep that great body in shape, eh?
-But the Secret Service always gets so testy when I punch your gut. Well OK. WOW that's one hard set of abs, sir.
-Perhaps you would like to look at these reports now...?
-No, no, not another poll, Karl said he would be taking care of those for now. Apparently they need expert interpretation.
-I couldn't agree more.
-Oh, No Sir, I could never assume to tell you what to do!
-I am so sorry I blurted that out, I don't know what came over me.
-Yes, I believe
-I'm sure Karl can tell you just exactly how that affects the Electoral College. But shouldn't we...?
-Well just like they say, clothes may make the man, but hand sewn snake skin boots do make the man taller, eh?
-Your right sir, my time is up. It is so important to stick to a balanced schedule isn't it. Shall I leave a message for Dick to check in when he comes out of anesthesia? Very good Sir, perhaps you can look at this later? Tomorrow, perhaps?
As you can see, it would be extremely embarrassing for any aide to have to reveal all the candied advice they have given.