Hooters Not Opening In Baghdad Anytime Soon

LAS VEGAS - Hooters, the popular US chain restaurant famous for dressing its waitresses in degrading uniforms, will not be opening its first branch in Baghdad anytime soon.

Dream Spokeswoman for Hooters of America, Heather Heart, had to make the announcment on Tuesday because of the increasing difficulties and waning American influence in Iraq. Ms Heart said, "there is no magic potion that can solve Iraq's problems." However, the restaurant chain believes its recommendations may offer the best recipe for success in stabilizing that war torn country. "We'd suggest emphasizing great food, great service, a relaxed atmosphere, and tight, low-cut uniforms," Heart said. "And having Gene Simmons hosting Wednesday night 'Celebrity Blackjack' tournaments with free beer for the ladies wouldn't hurt either!"