Dobson Takes Issue With Pope
Ken from Ken's Kitchen in Pasadena

Addressing a gathering of scientists at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena, Calif., the Rev. James Dobson criticized Pope Benedict XVI in the strongest terms for characterizing 'the Fiery Inferno" as being merely a "symbolic state" of "separation from God." Hell really is a place where the unrighteous burn in everlasting fire, the Rev. James Dobson thundered, claiming that religious scientists at the Creation Science Research Center in Dallas, Texas have discovered its actual existence in the distant reaches of outer space, using an inerrant Christian Reconstruction telescope.

Hell is a substructure of galaxy 1364. Its sheer size, the incredibly high heat that roasts sinners continuously without end while their bodies are being chewed on by bugs and stabbed by pig head-wearing messengers of Satan means that it can only be classified as an afterlife of unbearable suffering, Dobson said. Currently about 666 times further from our galaxy than any other, Hell is the farthest-known object in the solar system, and the darkest.

"It can only be seen with our Mighty Righteous Telescope over the next 40 days and 40 nights, and is currently almost directly overhead in the night sky above New York City in the constellation Fornax," said Ken Ham, who made the discovery on March 8.

Dobson warned that the Second Coming is near, and the world needs to prepare. There's no telling when it will arrive, he said, but when it does, "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."