President Bush announced today that NASA's ongoing secret efforts to navigate the fourth dimension have ceased.
Scientists from NASA, Columbia University, New York, and Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory, Berkeley, Calif. were determined to prove that time travel is possible. That determination turned to desperation when they concluded that the Bush presidency has been so disastrous for humankind that they had to travel back in time to the year 1999 to dramatically attempt to change the course of history!
"Time and space are sewn together in kind of four-dimensional fabric which we call space-time," said Alexander Hartdegen, an astrophysicist with NASA. "When something creates havoc, like the Bush administration has, in that piece of four-dimensional fabric, it causes wrinkles. Those wrinkles are a manifestation of space-time bending totally out of whack to accommodate Bush's mess. We at NASA were determined to iron out those wrinkles."
To do that, the scientists needed to 'punch a hole' in the fabric of space-time, using an ethanol-energized time machine that could approach the speed of light for a specific period of time. The machine would then transport scientists through a wormhole (a kind of tunnel connecting two points in space-time) back to a taped appearance by then Governor George W. Bush on CBS TV's "Early Show," in the year 1999.
Work on the machine has officially been halted by Washington. "This was a project worthy of a great civilization like ours," a crestfallen Hartdegen told I Miss Fafblog, Spot. "It was for the benefit of all mankind, for our children and grandchildren. Now I worry about the future of our planet."