Dear Ken,

I'm so in love with this president, and I thought he cared about me, or at least my opinion, a little bit ... but he doesn't ... I mean it is so obvious ... why, he can't even bring himself to fire that incompetent boob, Alberto Gonzales! Still, as the days pass, I'm loving him more and more! How do I let him go ... I've tried, and trust me, I have cried ... I know, I know ... he's a huge jerk, but he always manages to say just the right thing and make me feel better. Plus, it's hard to let go when I'm trying to hang on for dear life! I guess this is gonna take some time ... He makes me happy and sad at the same time, yet ... we're so perfect for each other .. we think the same way, we like the same things, we know so much about each other ... I just don't get how he doesn't care about me ... I wish I could, but I can't bring myself to say goodbye ... just yet. Help!!!

Best wishes,
Right-Wing Nutjob

Dear Right-Wing Nutjob,

Sounds like a pretty classic scenario to me: you really love this guy, but he's just not that into you. Time to face the facts, R-WN. His VP is retiring when he does at the end of his term, so this is a president who doesn't give two hoots about your opinion or anyone else's! He's "loved" you, and he's gonna leave you high and dry, my friend!

And P.S: he can't fire the Attorney General who knows where all the bodies are buried!

-Ken