Send As SMS

  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Monday, May 28, 2007
Memorial Day

Like most Americans, we celebrate Memorial Day with a Throwing Championship. But first, lets warm up the coals and pull out the, I'll grab the applause meter...we're gonna need it because our Queen of Memorial Day has elected to create a stunning spread of summer salads and side dishes! Draped in a red velvet robe and a shimmering crown, she'll entertain our guests on the guitar while I finish stuffing her old tights with tasty sausage. This year I've stacked the pudding on top of the hedges. Each contestant will throw the sausage-stuffed tights at the pudding. Whoever knocks down the most pudding wins!

Roasted Asparagus

10 lbs. asparagus
20 Tbs. olive oil
5 tsp. sea salt
3 tsp. pepper

Clean asparagus, and take each stalk in your hands. Bend the stalk, and the asparagus will naturally snap at the point where it becomes tough. Discard the tough part. Place the asparagus on a heavy baking pan and toss with the olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Roast in preheated 550 degree oven for 4-7 minutes, or until asparagus is lightly caramelized and tender. Keep an eye on them - don't let them char!

Potato Salad

10 lbs. firm, yellow-fleshed (preferably Carola) potatoes
Sea salt and pepper
30 Tbs. aged red wine vinegar
5 cups olive oil
10 medium-large sweet red onions finely sliced into rings
10 tbs. finely chopped flat-leaf parsley

Boil the potatoes in salted water until just done, about 25 minutes depending on their size.

While the potatoes are cooking, combine the salt, pepper, and vinegar in a large mixing bowl, swirl in the olive oil and add the onions.

As soon as the potatoes are done, drain them and peel them. Holding the potato in a kitchen towel, slit the skin the length of the potato and pull it off between thumb and knife blade. Slice the potatoes and put the slices immediately in the mixing bowl. Move the slices around so they don't stick. Add the parsley and toss carefully, taking care not to break up the potatoes too much.

Tasty Sausage

15 lbs. boned pork butts
8 Tbs. sea salt
5 tsp. ground white pepper
3 Tbs. of rubbed sage
1 ½ tsp. ginger
5 tsp. nutmeg
5 tsp. thyme
4 tsp. cayenne pepper
3 cups ice water

Grind all of the pork butts through a three-sixteenths or one-quarter inch plate. Refrigerate the ground pork until well chilled - ideally 32 to 34 degrees Fahrenheit. When the meat is chilled, thoroughly mix the water and spice mixture with the ground pork. Immediately stuff into a pair of woman's cotton tights. Hang the stuffed sausage in a cool place until dry to the touch, approximately 30 minutes. Refrigerate after drying.

If you do not have women's tights, you can store the sausage in extra-large tube socks.

Refrigerate or freeze as desired until throwing. Remove tossed sausage from it's casing, form into patties and grill immediately.

Black Pudding

2 gals. pigs blood
26 lbs. bread crumbs
4 lbs. suet
Sea salt and pepper, to taste
2 gals. milk
8 cups cooked barley
8 cups dry oatmeal
8 oz. powdered mint

Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl, pour into a gigantic pan and bring to a boil. Pour into a wide shallow bowl and season again if necessary. When cold it may be cut into slices and grilled.

Some Rights Reserved. Guess which ones!

Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



Links to Actual Fafblogs

Sorta Fafblogian Link Types
Anonymous Lawyer
Armageddon Cocktail Hour
Baby Toupees
Bateman, Scott
Billionaires For Bush
Blue Gal
Chalk, Mr.
Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Calvary!
Chicken Suits
CompareNContrast Wars
Cool Hunter
Crooks and Liars
Culture Ghost, The
Dateline Hollywood
Defeatists, The
Doodle Bean
Guys From Area 51
Happy Sock Fun Time (thepuppethead)
Harris, Bob (includes occasional pudus!)
Improv Everywhere
Jesus' General!
Lark News
Laughing Squid
Le Pétomane
Liberal Fascism
Little Green Fascists
Maximumize Positive Chaos
Mental Floss Magazine
Mouse and Rat Breeds
Noah Kalina Every Day
Onion, The
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
Perrin, Dennis
Roger Ailes' Fox-TV Blog
Sadly, No!
Shakespeare, Neil
Obsidian Wings
Stump Lane (Montag)
Swift, Jon
Swift Report, The
Tristam Shandy
Who Is IOZ
Zaius Nation
Ze Frank

Argue With Everyone
Casa de Los Gatos
Fret Free Fridays
Grow a Brain
Hellbound in Denver
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Blogosphere
Matilda's Advice and Rants
Miss Cellania
The Republic of Dogs
Doug Richardson
Trick of the Light
Vidiot Speak

Special "Look Around You" Video Section
Part One: Maths
Part Two: Water
Part Three: Germs
Part Four: Ghosts
Part Five: Sulphur
Part Six: Music
Part Seven: Iron
Part Eight: Brain

Special Other Video Section
Aranjuez Quartet - Classical Guitarists
How to Talk Like a Pirate
Matrix Ping Pong
OK Go!
Soldier Head Twist
The Supersonic Future


August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008



Sumatran Rhino
Missing Fafblog! can be like the solitary life of the Sumatran rhinoceros. I Miss Fafblog, Spot!? A saltlick around which to congregate.
Leave a comment!

Powered by Blogger

This is a homage blog to the apparently moribund Fafblog. Any copyright violations are pretty much unintentional and are the fault of that dastardly Doodle Bean!

Have something to say about Fafblog or this blog? Email Montag at montag-at-stumplane-dot-us.