WASHINGTON - I Miss Fafblog, Spot has learned that the White House has decided to auction the Iraq War on eBay rather than continue its bitter brawl with Congress over a withdrawal timetable attached to the latest Iraq spending bill. No one can predict how high the price will go, but the Bush Team has made it clear that they are aiming to rake in at least $124 billion.

"If it's really vital, then whatever it costs, somebody will buy it. If it isn't, well, it might help to throw in an MP3 player and some Stacked and Stuffed Hotcakes," said Bobby Hornatts, author of "The Price Tag of Liberty," a book about the financing of America's wars.

"They had no idea what they were getting into cost-wise when they invaded Iraq," said Candy Kischkin, owner of Couture Candy, a boutique that features the sweetest fashions on earth.

Bush and his economic team defend the online auction as the price of national security.

"It's worth it," the president declares. "I wouldn't auction it if it wasn't worth it."