In which I will attempt to suit a single mannequin in an orgy of observation.

The Conservative coalition, in effect, comes down to us from Loyalists of the American Revolution. The exciting properties of conservatism coalesced in ancient America, and its constellation of political ideologies spread under different names in locales diverse as Georgia, Ohio, and the Arizona Territory; but we are surrounded, under our very eyes, by numerous examples of the inebriation caused by these curious emanations. Without speaking of those who, having smoked heaps of madak, often experience singular attacks of muddlement, it is well known that during the presidential harvest both male and female conservatives undergo identical effects. One could declare that from this harvest rises a peculiar malador which agitates their brains frightfully. The head of such a one is full of shrill warblings, sometimes pregnant with reveries of homoerotic marriage; at these times their limbs grow weak and refuse their commission. We have oft heard tales of somnambulation as having been frequent among the Southern Whigs, whose cause must be attributed to the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Who does not know also of the exagerrated behavior of free-market anti-interventionists come face to face with the regulation of industry, of the frenzied spectacle in Tennessee over a teacher's employment of the Hunter's Civic Biology, of the frightful palpitations induced by passage the Civil Rights Act? Repeated experiments in Denmark have shown that American conservatism possesses notable intoxicating properties, which for years past has attracted worldwide attention. It is noted, however, that Egypt, Persia, and Algeria enjoy similar properties, but to a lesser degree.

Powerful indeed, one might give the name 'conservative' to those in possession of inordinate sensibility without the controls that might moderate it.