Dear Ken

Help!!! I have a vice-presi...errrr, I mean...an employee who is very obstinate when it comes to obeying instructions. Whenever I tell him to engage with North Korea he says, "no!" When I tell him to stop provoking China to attack Taiwan, he throws himself on the carpet and has a hissy fit. I'm not even sure how real these 'fits' are because Condi tells me that whenever I turn away he stops immediately. He seems to enjoy testing the limits, but when he behaves like this he interrupts the entire government's foreign policy apparatus. I would try to use positive reinforcement whenever he does the right thing, but he never does the right thing! He continues to try to hijack the foreign policy-making process! What can I do when I have a vice pres...I mean...employee crying on the carpet and refusing to to back European efforts on Iran? Do you have any ideas?

Sincerely,
Lonely at the Top

Dear Lonely at the Top

You cannot have a vice-presi...er...an employee throwing tantrums on the floor. A little discipline in the White House might be in order, LATT! If that doesn't work, I would move the entire foreign policy establishment to a different location that's far away from him. Then, everyone can ignore his behavior and restore some functionality to the national-security policy-making process.

-Ken