Ask Herr Doktor Blume
Installment #1. “Tell Me About Your Marvelous Ape”
Dr. Blume has degrees in Logotherapy from the Österreichische gesellschaft für logotherapie nach Victor Frankl in Vienna and in Nail Technology from the Schilling-Douglas School of Hair Design in Newark. Every week, he answers your questions about will to meaning, pedicures, and especially libido.

Q. Dear Dr. Blume,
Why is it when John McCain was asked “How do we beat the bitch?” he called it an “excellent question” and talked about how he was ahead of Hillary Clinton at that point in the race? - Hilda in Helsinki

A. This is an excellent question. One might assume that Mr. McCain was a misogynistic freak, perhaps because his mother forced him to wear a dress for the first twelve years of his life or some such reason. However, this would just be the pinnacle of the iceberg.

In my esteemed professional opinion, Mr. McCain suffers from a psychological response sometimes seen in prisoners who show loyalty to the captors. We Logotherapists have coined the term “Stockholm syndrome” to describe this response. Take this joke told by McCain at a meeting of the National League of Cities and Towns in March of 1986:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, “Where is that marvelous ape?” [Tucson Citizen, 10/27/86]

Now, at first you would think that this is nothing but repellant sexism. Joking about rape is the type of thing that men who fantasize about sexual violence are wont to do, and the fact that the woman was “beaten senseless” attests to almost pathological misogyny. But coupled with his war experience, we begin to wonder if this is not also symptomatic of a more general issue. Note that at the end of the joke, the woman appears to enjoy her beating and sexual violation, and ask: who is this marvelous ape?

Where Mr. McCain was beaten senseless by the Viet Cong, the woman was beaten senseless by a powerful gorilla, a King Kong, if you will. Perhaps this is a clue to the identity of that marvelous ape?

Now, let us move forward to something Mr. McCain said to Larry King more recently:

I don't think they do. In fact, it is very interesting to see a change in attitudes and comments on the so-called Arab street now. The Arab countries in the region that, at first were very sympathetic to bin Laden and very critical of the United States and our actions, and now there seems to be a very different tune being played there, in sort of a acceptance of the fact that the United States is doing what is right and necessary, not only for the United States but for, frankly, these moderate regimes as well. [Larry King Live, 11/28/01]

Again, the countries subject to the superpower grow to love the superpower, a Stockholm syndrome-type argument. Women and Arabs, which initially rejected their oppressor, end up being grateful for being dominated, for someone to do what is “right and necessary” to them.

This of course opens up the possibility that John McCain is not only a deviant sexist, but is also doing what we Logotherapists call “projecting”. Perhaps he himself feels this way towards his oppressors. At this point you want to ask John McCain, as you should ask yourself “Who is your marvelous ape?” And why not, while you are thinking about this, stop in for a manicure or a pedicure at Dr. Blume’s Logotherapy und Nagel-Technologie-Handelszentrum. We have seven locations to serve you, six of them conveniently located in Steglitz von Berlin.