Send As SMS

  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tell Me About Your Marvelous Ape

Ask Herr Doktor Blume
Installment #1. “Tell Me About Your Marvelous Ape”
Dr. Blume has degrees in Logotherapy from the Österreichische gesellschaft für logotherapie nach Victor Frankl in Vienna and in Nail Technology from the Schilling-Douglas School of Hair Design in Newark. Every week, he answers your questions about will to meaning, pedicures, and especially libido.

Q. Dear Dr. Blume,
Why is it when John McCain was asked “How do we beat the bitch?” he called it an “excellent question” and talked about how he was ahead of Hillary Clinton at that point in the race?
- Hilda in Helsinki

A. This is an excellent question. One might assume that Mr. McCain was a misogynistic freak, perhaps because his mother forced him to wear a dress for the first twelve years of his life or some such reason. However, this would just be the pinnacle of the iceberg.

In my esteemed professional opinion, Mr. McCain suffers from a psychological response sometimes seen in prisoners who show loyalty to the captors. We Logotherapists have coined the term “Stockholm syndrome” to describe this response. Take this joke told by McCain at a meeting of the National League of Cities and Towns in March of 1986:

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, “Where is that marvelous ape?” [Tucson Citizen, 10/27/86]

Now, at first you would think that this is nothing but repellant sexism. Joking about rape is the type of thing that men who fantasize about sexual violence are wont to do, and the fact that the woman was “beaten senseless” attests to almost pathological misogyny. But coupled with his war experience, we begin to wonder if this is not also symptomatic of a more general issue. Note that at the end of the joke, the woman appears to enjoy her beating and sexual violation, and ask: who is this marvelous ape?

Where Mr. McCain was beaten senseless by the Viet Cong, the woman was beaten senseless by a powerful gorilla, a King Kong, if you will. Perhaps this is a clue to the identity of that marvelous ape?

Now, let us move forward to something Mr. McCain said to Larry King more recently:

I don't think they do. In fact, it is very interesting to see a change in attitudes and comments on the so-called Arab street now. The Arab countries in the region that, at first were very sympathetic to bin Laden and very critical of the United States and our actions, and now there seems to be a very different tune being played there, in sort of a acceptance of the fact that the United States is doing what is right and necessary, not only for the United States but for, frankly, these moderate regimes as well. [Larry King Live, 11/28/01]

Again, the countries subject to the superpower grow to love the superpower, a Stockholm syndrome-type argument. Women and Arabs, which initially rejected their oppressor, end up being grateful for being dominated, for someone to do what is “right and necessary” to them.

This of course opens up the possibility that John McCain is not only a deviant sexist, but is also doing what we Logotherapists call “projecting”. Perhaps he himself feels this way towards his oppressors. At this point you want to ask John McCain, as you should ask yourself “Who is your marvelous ape?” And why not, while you are thinking about this, stop in for a manicure or a pedicure at Dr. Blume’s Logotherapy und Nagel-Technologie-Handelszentrum. We have seven locations to serve you, six of them conveniently located in Steglitz von Berlin.

Labels: , ,

Some Rights Reserved. Guess which ones!

Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



Links to Actual Fafblogs

Sorta Fafblogian Link Types
Anonymous Lawyer
Armageddon Cocktail Hour
Baby Toupees
Bateman, Scott
Billionaires For Bush
Blue Gal
Chalk, Mr.
Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Calvary!
Chicken Suits
CompareNContrast Wars
Cool Hunter
Crooks and Liars
Culture Ghost, The
Dateline Hollywood
Defeatists, The
Doodle Bean
Guys From Area 51
Happy Sock Fun Time (thepuppethead)
Harris, Bob (includes occasional pudus!)
Improv Everywhere
Jesus' General!
Lark News
Laughing Squid
Le Pétomane
Liberal Fascism
Little Green Fascists
Maximumize Positive Chaos
Mental Floss Magazine
Mouse and Rat Breeds
Noah Kalina Every Day
Onion, The
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
Perrin, Dennis
Roger Ailes' Fox-TV Blog
Sadly, No!
Shakespeare, Neil
Obsidian Wings
Stump Lane (Montag)
Swift, Jon
Swift Report, The
Tristam Shandy
Who Is IOZ
Zaius Nation
Ze Frank

Argue With Everyone
Casa de Los Gatos
Fret Free Fridays
Grow a Brain
Hellbound in Denver
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Blogosphere
Matilda's Advice and Rants
Miss Cellania
The Republic of Dogs
Doug Richardson
Trick of the Light
Vidiot Speak

Special "Look Around You" Video Section
Part One: Maths
Part Two: Water
Part Three: Germs
Part Four: Ghosts
Part Five: Sulphur
Part Six: Music
Part Seven: Iron
Part Eight: Brain

Special Other Video Section
Aranjuez Quartet - Classical Guitarists
How to Talk Like a Pirate
Matrix Ping Pong
OK Go!
Soldier Head Twist
The Supersonic Future


August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008



Sumatran Rhino
Missing Fafblog! can be like the solitary life of the Sumatran rhinoceros. I Miss Fafblog, Spot!? A saltlick around which to congregate.
Leave a comment!

Powered by Blogger

This is a homage blog to the apparently moribund Fafblog. Any copyright violations are pretty much unintentional and are the fault of that dastardly Doodle Bean!

Have something to say about Fafblog or this blog? Email Montag at montag-at-stumplane-dot-us.