Send As SMS

  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Sunday, August 03, 2008
The Skinny on Wall Street Journamalism

That’s Bonita Granville in “Nancy Drew, Reporter!” arguing with the City Editor of the River Heights Gazette about getting an assignment that has no news content. Those were the days! Today, a lack of news content is exactly what the enterprising young reporter craves, and the job of the City Editor has become part of the duties of the Advertising Manager. But, you ask, how can I become a modern Nancy Drew and break into the lucrative Media-Industrial Complex?

Because we know that many loyal readers of “I Like [image of pie], Spot!” are interested in the ins and outs of professional journalism, today we proud to announce a Masterclass in How To Write For the Wall Street Journal In Three Easy Steps.

And we’ll even show you how we here at “I Like [image of pie], Spot!” use the principles outlined below to write our very own “2008 Election Horserace” story! So YOU will be part of the process!

Writing a story for the Wall Street Journal is easy! You can do it in three easy steps:

1. Come up with an idea!

Let’s take Amy Chozick’s excellent story “Too Fit to Be President? Facing an Overweight Electorate, Barack Obama Might Find Low Body Fat a Drawback” published on August 1, 2008 in the Wall Street Journal. We don’t know for sure where Amy got the idea (a good reporter never reveals her sources – see the sterling example of Judith Miller), but here’s a guess. Six months ago, had this story:

As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting The Fat Vote

In it, a “Fat Voter” identified as Daniel Keezer says: If they're interested in my vote, they'll eat the things that I like to eat.

It is just a short step from there to Amy’s slightly less pedestrian prose: Despite [Obama's] visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.

And kids, there are literally dozens of other stories waiting to be ripped off, including “The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap?”

2. Troll for quotations by asking leading questions in anonymous online forums!

Sure, that’s not what “Nancy Drew, Reporter!” would have done! But she was writing before the advent of the internets! Take Amy Chozick, who appears to have posted the following message to a Yahoo!groups forum:

Obama too skinny to be president?
15-Jul-08 06:04 pm
Does anyone out there think Barack Obama is too thin to be president? Anyone having a hard time relating to him and his "no excess body fat"? Please let me know. Thanks!

Granted, the only responses she got were critical or sarcastic, but that didn’t stop her from culling a response from one of the latter, and ignoring its inherent idiocy: "I won't vote for any beanpole guy," another Clinton supporter wrote last week on a Yahoo politics message board.

3. Call up McCain hacks, and give them free column inches.

Remember, this is the Wall Street Journal, the paper that predicted on July 7, 2003 that: "There is every reason to believe that the U.S. will eventually defeat this Baathist-terror counterattack, as completely as it did the Republican Guard in April. " Amy Chozick must have had to really try hard to google flunky Rick Davis' choice quotation: In a memo to reporters explaining the ad, McCain campaign manager Rick Davis wrote, "Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day."

Then you write the story, and you are done for the day. Relax! Have an ice cream sundae! Flip on the tube, and play “Where’s Waldo?” by searching for elusive coverage of the Iraq War. Think about that capital gains tax cut you’re gonna get! Heck, that’s what journalism is all about.

Just for fun, here’s a question we recently posted to the YahooGroups 2008:

Date: Sun Aug 3, 2008 3:37 pm
Subject: Is McCain too 666y to be President?

Alexander's Man of the People (on page 12) reports that John McCain's family nickname is Johnny. Is anyone else worried about the fact that the Book of Revelation tells us to, "Calculate the number of the Beast, for the number is that of a man and his number is 666", and the number of letters in "Johnny Sidney McCain" is 666? Please let me know. Thanks!

An “I Like [image of pie], Spot!” exclusive is sure to follow!

Labels: , , ,

Some Rights Reserved. Guess which ones!

Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



Links to Actual Fafblogs

Sorta Fafblogian Link Types
Anonymous Lawyer
Armageddon Cocktail Hour
Baby Toupees
Bateman, Scott
Billionaires For Bush
Blue Gal
Chalk, Mr.
Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Calvary!
Chicken Suits
CompareNContrast Wars
Cool Hunter
Crooks and Liars
Culture Ghost, The
Dateline Hollywood
Defeatists, The
Doodle Bean
Guys From Area 51
Happy Sock Fun Time (thepuppethead)
Harris, Bob (includes occasional pudus!)
Improv Everywhere
Jesus' General!
Lark News
Laughing Squid
Le Pétomane
Liberal Fascism
Little Green Fascists
Maximumize Positive Chaos
Mental Floss Magazine
Mouse and Rat Breeds
Noah Kalina Every Day
Onion, The
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
Perrin, Dennis
Roger Ailes' Fox-TV Blog
Sadly, No!
Shakespeare, Neil
Obsidian Wings
Stump Lane (Montag)
Swift, Jon
Swift Report, The
Tristam Shandy
Who Is IOZ
Zaius Nation
Ze Frank

Argue With Everyone
Casa de Los Gatos
Fret Free Fridays
Grow a Brain
Hellbound in Denver
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Blogosphere
Matilda's Advice and Rants
Miss Cellania
The Republic of Dogs
Doug Richardson
Trick of the Light
Vidiot Speak

Special "Look Around You" Video Section
Part One: Maths
Part Two: Water
Part Three: Germs
Part Four: Ghosts
Part Five: Sulphur
Part Six: Music
Part Seven: Iron
Part Eight: Brain

Special Other Video Section
Aranjuez Quartet - Classical Guitarists
How to Talk Like a Pirate
Matrix Ping Pong
OK Go!
Soldier Head Twist
The Supersonic Future


August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008



Sumatran Rhino
Missing Fafblog! can be like the solitary life of the Sumatran rhinoceros. I Miss Fafblog, Spot!? A saltlick around which to congregate.
Leave a comment!

Powered by Blogger

This is a homage blog to the apparently moribund Fafblog. Any copyright violations are pretty much unintentional and are the fault of that dastardly Doodle Bean!

Have something to say about Fafblog or this blog? Email Montag at montag-at-stumplane-dot-us.