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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Ken's Korner: Don't Let This Happen To You!

"We think you might be happier working for another Study Group."

Uh oh! You just got fired! Sacked! Out of a job! If it could happen to Rudy Giuliani, it could certainly happen to you!

That's right! Anyone can get the any time! It can happen to the best people and the worst. It can happen to hard workers, and to slackers. Especially slackers...just ask Rudy! But he managed to bounce back! How?

How To Survive And Prosper Like Rudy Giuliani

1. Keep in mind that, like the Iraq Study Group, your new job won't last forever. Don't develop a romance with it, even if it is a Congressionally appointed blue-ribbon panel dedicated to finding a way forward in Iraq! It'll be bad enough getting canned without suffering the the agony of unrequited love too! Hey, you have to look out for yourself first!

2. Keep up to date regarding the panel's findings and to make sure you're still on it. If you're like Rudy, you've been having trouble showing up for any meetings at all, so always keep an eye out for new opportunities. That way you can quit just before Baker drops the axe, and you'll already be sitting pretty in another job!

3. Stay prepared financially. Try to have lots of cash in reserve. You might want to consider a lucrative speaking tour like Rudy's. Sure, all those speeches may have conflicted with the Iraq Study Group, but they brought in a whopping $11.4 million for America's Mayor in 14 months!

4. After you get canned, take exactly five minutes to grieve. So what if the Study Group had a "truly important mission," and now you can't use it to beef-up your commander-in-chief credentials. You'd just have to distance himself from some of the group's findings anyway! Quit moping around feeling sorry for yourself!

5. Be patient. It's going to take time to find another job. In the meantime, launch a presidential campaign!

6. Nurture contacts. Especially with people who served on the National Finance Committee for President George W Bush and with conservatives and evangelicals. Keep visible with speeches, debates, fund-raisers, and lots of good publicity.

7. Hire advisors to market you. Put out the word that you're available; show America what you're made of!

8. Finally. Don't panic. Lots of people wind up with better jobs than the Iraq Study Group!

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Missing Fafblog picture of the week

Halcylon days.


"What did your mother and I tell you about watching the commercials?"

"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



Links to Actual Fafblogs

Sorta Fafblogian Link Types
Anonymous Lawyer
Armageddon Cocktail Hour
Baby Toupees
Bateman, Scott
Billionaires For Bush
Blue Gal
Chalk, Mr.
Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Calvary!
Chicken Suits
CompareNContrast Wars
Cool Hunter
Crooks and Liars
Culture Ghost, The
Dateline Hollywood
Defeatists, The
Doodle Bean
Guys From Area 51
Happy Sock Fun Time (thepuppethead)
Harris, Bob (includes occasional pudus!)
Improv Everywhere
Jesus' General!
Lark News
Laughing Squid
Le Pétomane
Liberal Fascism
Little Green Fascists
Maximumize Positive Chaos
Mental Floss Magazine
Mouse and Rat Breeds
Noah Kalina Every Day
Onion, The
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
Perrin, Dennis
Roger Ailes' Fox-TV Blog
Sadly, No!
Shakespeare, Neil
Obsidian Wings
Stump Lane (Montag)
Swift, Jon
Swift Report, The
Tristam Shandy
Who Is IOZ
Zaius Nation
Ze Frank

Argue With Everyone
Casa de Los Gatos
Fret Free Fridays
Grow a Brain
Hellbound in Denver
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Blogosphere
Matilda's Advice and Rants
Miss Cellania
The Republic of Dogs
Doug Richardson
Trick of the Light
Vidiot Speak

Special "Look Around You" Video Section
Part One: Maths
Part Two: Water
Part Three: Germs
Part Four: Ghosts
Part Five: Sulphur
Part Six: Music
Part Seven: Iron
Part Eight: Brain

Special Other Video Section
Aranjuez Quartet - Classical Guitarists
How to Talk Like a Pirate
Matrix Ping Pong
OK Go!
Soldier Head Twist
The Supersonic Future


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This is a homage blog to the apparently moribund Fafblog. Any copyright violations are pretty much unintentional and are the fault of that dastardly Doodle Bean!

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