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  Blog Noir. An interplay of cultural references, snark, the occasional smutty joke, Dadaism, Mamaism, and a genuine outrage at the horrors of The Situation.

--to paraphrase Freddy el Desfibradddoro
Saturday, April 25, 2009
A Small Misunderstanding

The U S and A witnessed a great eruption of democracy recently, as protesters wielding bags of tea gathered together in groups large and small across this great nation, unified by their shared principles... bound together by their shared susceptibility to propaganda... marching along smartly behind a madly piping Joe the Plumber, blowing his drainpipe bassoon of doom. Yes, we all saw it on our televisions and our internets and marveled at our brave new world that has such people in, around, and on it.

However, all this brotherly and sisterly right wing oneness was marred somewhat by the giggling lefty chorus, who sang the haunting refrain from Kermit Muldoon's little known turn of the century Operetta, 'Of Tea, Bags, and Baggers! OH MY!'
Yes, Teabaggers. At first, the loving right wing throngs were confused.... some were heard to say, 'Why yes! We have teabags, which we brandish in order to illustrate the evils of taxation without representation, even though we have representation, but anyway, since we do this because we love our country then by all means... call us Teabaggers. Teabaggers for Freedom.'

Well, it all turned into an unfortunate misunderstanding. A kerfuffle, if you will. The phrase, "He said Teabagger... heh heh heh," was oft heard. A joyous day for America, during which a few Americans had planned to make a whole bunch of spurious and outrageous character based accusations against a bunch of their fellow Americans while the FoxNews cameras whirred and purred and the FoxNews anchors looked on and preened and simped -- well it was ruined, ruined I tell you! In the end, the main image people came away with from the whole shebang was that of a ballsack draped chin. Dark days, friends. These are dark days.

But you know, then I got to thinking.

What if, back in the day, when Rumsfeld and Cheney got together and decided that Enemy-Combatant-Al-Quaida-Type War-On-Terror-Radical-Islamist-Detainees-Who-Hate-Us-For-Our-Freedoms maybe should be waterboarded and then asked some tough questions..... well what if they were thinking of this?

Water. Boards. Waterboarding.

In your mind's ear, you might be hearing Dick Cheney saying something like, "Heck Yes, Rummy! That'll give them a taste of the freedom they so despise! Then they'll be putty in our hands, see? Putty!"


Nah. I'm pretty sure they meant the evil kind, you know, what with them being evil and all. Evil.

Still, If I were Rumsfeld's or Cheney's attorney, this is exactly what I would be doing. I would be creating the, "What? We thought it meant, you know, surfing..." defense.

Dark Days. Dark Days, Indeed.

Cowabunga, America.

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"That if they need commercials to sell it, it isn't worth buying."

"That's right kids, they're either selling you a price that's too high, or a need that isn't necessary, or a superiority that is superfluous."

---Montag Alawicious Beeblebrox I



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