Let's say that you've just put up a big fight over some issue, and you still got your butt kicked. Perhaps it would be better if you didn't call it an Apocalypse. Unless, of course, you really truly mean to claim that your side is the force of Ultimate Evil and that it was just defeated by the forces of Ultimate Good.

P.S. I only mention this for your own good. I know you have been very worried lately about the fate of Democratic candidates this fall and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.

There is nothing you can do that can't be done!

The U S and A witnessed a great eruption of democracy recently, as protesters wielding bags of tea gathered together in groups large and small across this great nation, unified by their shared principles... bound together by their shared susceptibility to propaganda... marching along smartly behind a madly piping Joe the Plumber, blowing his drainpipe bassoon of doom. Yes, we all saw it on our televisions and our internets and marveled at our brave new world that has such people in, around, and on it.

However, all this brotherly and sisterly right wing oneness was marred somewhat by the giggling lefty chorus, who sang the haunting refrain from Kermit Muldoon's little known turn of the century Operetta, 'Of Tea, Bags, and Baggers! OH MY!'
Yes, Teabaggers. At first, the loving right wing throngs were confused.... some were heard to say, 'Why yes! We have teabags, which we brandish in order to illustrate the evils of taxation without representation, even though we have representation, but anyway, since we do this because we love our country then by all means... call us Teabaggers. Teabaggers for Freedom.'

Well, it all turned into an unfortunate misunderstanding. A kerfuffle, if you will. The phrase, "He said Teabagger... heh heh heh," was oft heard. A joyous day for America, during which a few Americans had planned to make a whole bunch of spurious and outrageous character based accusations against a bunch of their fellow Americans while the FoxNews cameras whirred and purred and the FoxNews anchors looked on and preened and simped -- well it was ruined, ruined I tell you! In the end, the main image people came away with from the whole shebang was that of a ballsack draped chin. Dark days, friends. These are dark days.

But you know, then I got to thinking.

What if, back in the day, when Rumsfeld and Cheney got together and decided that Enemy-Combatant-Al-Quaida-Type War-On-Terror-Radical-Islamist-Detainees-Who-Hate-Us-For-Our-Freedoms maybe should be waterboarded and then asked some tough questions..... well what if they were thinking of this?

Water. Boards. Waterboarding.

In your mind's ear, you might be hearing Dick Cheney saying something like, "Heck Yes, Rummy! That'll give them a taste of the freedom they so despise! Then they'll be putty in our hands, see? Putty!"

Hmm.

Nah. I'm pretty sure they meant the evil kind, you know, what with them being evil and all. Evil.

Still, If I were Rumsfeld's or Cheney's attorney, this is exactly what I would be doing. I would be creating the, "What? We thought it meant, you know, surfing..." defense.

Dark Days. Dark Days, Indeed.

Cowabunga, America.

When they came for the dopers
I remained silent - Because I’m not a junkie or a dirty hippy
When they went after the crack dealers
I approved – because I’m afraid of saggy pantsed gang bangers
When they renditioned Abu the goatherd
I paid the bill – because those ragheads just might be dangerous
When they rounded up the illegal aliens
I cheered – because I have blue eyes, I’m obviously American
When they tapped my phone, without any cause
Secretly searched my apartment, without any warrant
Demanded to see my identification papers, without any explanation
I did not care – because I thought I had nothing to hide
Now I fear...



I fear there is nowhere to hide.

You let me in and
I eat your brains.